fallen angel (lyrics)(next day redraft)

'Angel' redraft. Showing the process so you can follow along and see how things find a route forward, how I play with the pile of leaves I raked together yesterday.

When I was 15 I requested Allen Ginsberg's Howl drafting process in book form. What a nerd. I remember my English teacher in 10th grade making us stand up and each read a line of that poem, going around the room. It was one of those moments you don't forget – the closest I got to living in a movie where the words felt on fire in class – like Dead Poets Society, a high school favorite. Wonder how that film would read now. Perhaps I'll return to it sometime soon and let you know.

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angel (draft)

got my pictures developed from the fall
and there you are, fallen angel
between my legs with your eyes closed

your eyes always closed

last day of may from the fall
four months since the sever
dead winter dead story, fallen angel

your eyes always closed

i could look at him forever
still shoots a broken arrow down my centre
like the funhouse mirror of the spice
that flew up when we kissed

you've faded now you've faded like the edges of the picture
dark halo curls, fallen angel with your eyes closed
you taught me that there's more i need than transcendent touch
though if you could have let that be it could have been enough

got my pictures developed from the fall
and there you are, fallen angel
between my legs with your eyes closed

on the red-brown-blue ocean of a rug
and there you are, fallen angel
on that one last day we had respite from your mind

your eyes always closed

you thought you had to go somewhere else
to find god, you couldn't feel them pierce our hearts
because you clouded yours in cotton

your eyes always closed

i could look at him forever
still shoots a broken arrow down my centre
like the funhouse mirror of the spice
that flew up when we kissed

you've faded now you've faded like the edges of the picture
dark halo curls, fallen angel with your eyes closed
you taught me that there's more i need than transcendent touch
though if you could have let that be it could have been enough

when you rulebook you contort me
because i'm fluid, it's easy for me
to take the shape of any vessel, fall in line

and i told you, you could trust me
but i couldn't trust myself
i was falling, falling, falling, out of line

i'd notice faster now, because of you
i'd notice faster now, because of you

you've faded now you've faded like the edges of the picture
dark halo curls, fallen angel with your eyes closed
you taught me that there's more i need than transcendent touch
though if you could have let that be it could have been enough

thank god you're fading, fading like the edges of the picture
dark halo curls, fallen angel with your eyes closed
i dream for you that some day you'll become real
with all your stuffing coming out and your eye open